Intern Badmouths Former Manager in Professional Networking Group, Calls Them 'Unprofessional' When They Refuse to Write Him a Recommendation

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 27, 2026 11:45 AM EDT

He couldn't speak badly about a professional mentor and not expect there to be consequences.

It always pays to be careful with our words, but never more so than in a work environment. You never know who could be listening when you criticize somebody important who could have a substantial impact on your career in a negative sense.

Of course, that isn't to say that we should always hold back when it comes to calling out exploitative companies and terrible coworkers. In certain instances, it is actually very important to get our voice heard and expose business practices that shouldn't be happening. However, it is wise to use discernment when doing this to protect our own interests.

The reality is that the working world relies just as much, if not more, on who we know compared to what we know. Most people who burn bridges quickly learn that this is best done when they know that they have a good escape route that ensures that their livelihood is going to remain intact. Sure, being nice to somebody you can't stand can be painful, but sometimes tactics have to triumph over personal feelings when it comes to tricky office politics.

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  • A model representing a casually dressed younger male employee crossing his arms and smiling in a modern office
    via Vitaly Gariev

    A model representing a casually dressed younger male employee crossing his arms and smiling in a modern office

  • In this post, a manager who worked with interns in a marketing company had one of their former interns reach out and request a professional recommendation for the graduate programs he was applying for. He had worked there six months previously, and at the time, the manager believed things had ended on a positive note.

    However, it was soon revealed that he had publicly denounced the company and this manager in a professional networking group. Because of this, they felt that it would be wrong to write him a reference for his job search. The intern wasn't happy, leaving the manager pondering if they were taking his actions too seriously.

  • Am I wrong for refusing to write a recommendation for my former intern after what they did?

    I supervise interns at a small marketing company. Last summer, I mentored a college student for about three months. I spent a lot of extra time helping him improve because he was eager to learn, and by the end of the internship, I thought we'd ended on good terms. A few weeks after the
    via One_Weird1828
  • internship ended, another coworker sent me a screenshot of a local professional networking group. The former intern had posted a long rant about our company. Some of his complaints were fair, but he also claimed that I took credit for his ideas and that I deliberately gave him busy
    via One_Weird1828
  • work so I would look better. Neither of those things happened. In fact, I had emails showing I'd credited him during meetings and had pushed management to let him work on bigger projects. I decided not to respond publicly because I didn't want to create drama.
    via One_Weird1828
  • About six months later, he emailed me saying he was applying for graduate programs and asked if I'd write him a strong recommendation letter. He said he had always appreciated my mentorship and hoped I'd put the past behind us. I replied that I didn't think I was the right person to recommend
    via One_Weird1828
  • him and wished him the best with his applications. He then sent another email saying I was being unprofessional by letting personal feelings interfere with his future. A mutual acquaintance also reached out and said I should either write the letter or at least do him the courtesy of explaining everything
    via One_Weird1828
  • over a phone call. I don't think I owe anyone a recommendation, especially when I no longer feel I can honestly endorse them.AITA
    via One_Weird1828
  • A representation of a manager checking her emails on a laptop
    via Aleksei Zhivilov

    A representation of a manager checking her emails on a laptop

  • fernincornwall NTA. You don't owe anyone a recommendation!
    via fernincornwall
  • If you don't recommend him because he is a source of drama in the workplace (like talking sh about his boss to other workers) then don't recommend him to other workplaces! It's a perfectly reasonable and defensible position!
    via fernincornwall
  • Tom_Marvolo_Tomato Something something "bite the hand that feeds you." Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences.
    via Tom_Marvolo_Tomato
  • forevertheyo NTA. You should never put yourself/your reputation on the line for someone that clearly is going to have problems in future jobs.
    via forevertheyo
  • Scouthawkk NTA. Never put your rep on the line for someone when you're concerned they could ruin that rep. That being said, you could - if you choose to give a reason - let the former intern know his judgment and conduct after
    via Scouthawkk
  • leaving the company was highly unprofessional and the reason you will not risk your reputation by writing a recommendation letter. But you are not obligated to give a reason if you really do not want to.
    via Scouthawkk
  • Zammarand NTA, the dude quite literally slandered you in a professional networking group, which could have had actual consequences on your career. Now he's realizing he burnt a bridge that he desperately needs, and is trying to glaze over the fact that he lacked even a modicum of professionalism himself.
    via Zammarand
  • Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he asked literally everyone else he can to get a letter of recommendation, but they all rejected him, probably for similar reasons, which is why he's having to resort to someone he actively slandered
    via Zammarand
  • BobPlaysWithFire NTA! Talks negatively about you behind your back and then sweettalks you to your face to get something from you. They're being entitled and manipulative. You owe them nothing. They don't respect you, they respect what you can do for them. Its good you didn't fall for it.
    via BobPlaysWithFire
  • Designer_Thought2907 NTA, the unprofessional ex-intern wants to teach you professionalism?
    via Designer_Thought2907
  • dryadduinath nta. his response email pretty well confirms that recommending him would not be wise. if you do recommend him, his behaviour reflects on you. you do not want that, and you don't need to get dragged into drama.
    via dryadduinath
  • he asked, you declined, and you can leave it there, or at most give a non-apology like "i'm sorry you feel that way" and wish him the best again.
    via dryadduinath

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